This is a spoken word piece about my experiences growing up transmasculine. There are mentions of suicidality, sexual harassment, and rape culture.
When I grow up, I want to be a woman. I know I’ll be one someday. The older ladies told me that being a tomboy is just a phase, so don’t worry about not feeling like a “real girl,” because the girly stuff will come naturally someday. I am waiting for her to arise, the natural woman in me. The one who will throw away my comic books, sweep away my desire to be a boy with a delicately manicured hand, demolish my personality with a perfectly made-up smile. I am waiting to stop existing, to burst into flames and allow a beautiful, secret lady to rise from my ashes, like Jean Grey.
Continue reading “Secret Lady”
Hey everybody! As I’ve been running out of ideas for what to post lately, I’m turning to the 30-Day LGBT Blogging Challenge. I want to start writing on a regular basis rather than just posting some old pieces and rants I wrote a while ago, like I’ve been doing sometimes lately. I am also interested in trying a more traditional blogging format, rather than just personal rants, to see if that brings in a wider audience.
So here’s the first prompt for the LGBT Blogging Challenge. (I looked for autistic and mental health-related blogging challenges too, but I didn’t find any. Maybe I’ll write some myself.) It says “Day 1,” but I probably won’t be posting these every day. I’ll try to keep it to at least once a week.
Day 1 – Your sexual orientation or gender identity. Be creative in your definition.
Continue reading “LGBT Blogging Challenge Day 1”
Last week, I got hit by two shitty “trans people are fakers” jokes within two days, from two different people I care about.
Continue reading “Sometimes I Don’t Know What to Do with Cis People”
Content warning for mentions of alcoholism and emotional abuse.
Things My Father Taught Me
- Star Wars and Star Trek are great and you can like both. You can swing both ways. There’s no need to choose.
Continue reading “Lessons from My Father”
Content note: This is a post I wrote a couple of weeks ago about cissexism and transphobia, both external and internalized. If you’re a trans person and you’ve had a particularly bad or dysphoric day, you might wanna skip this one.
Today in my literature class, the professor said we were going to deconstruct race and gender in Frankenstein. A sense of dread settled over me as she wrote “Race” and “Woman” on the board and asked a room of mostly white students what race is. After a very intellectual discussion, she asked the class what woman is. The first response was exactly what I was dreading. A student said, “Being biologically and anatomically female.” Continue reading “Monster”
- You walk into the men’s room. Some cis dude is taking a shit in the only stall. You walk away and come back. He is still there. You eventually give up and use a different bathroom. The next time you return, he is still in the stall. He is always there.
Continue reading “Transmasculine Gothic”
I wrote this almost two years ago, when I was about to start testosterone. I no longer identify as binary and (exclusively) male, but this writing is still very important to me.
Continue reading “A Love Letter to My Pre-T Body”